Thoughts On Mental Health
Here I would like to share something personal that’s been going on with me.
I have been needing a break for what is going on around me: I have broken from a 4 year relationship last month, and in a week’s time has found a new apartment and moved all my belongings right in to it.
I called the breakup and did not feel much about it at first, but being the 1st time living alone, the tiredness and having followed another’s lead in the past years have made me come to a realisation that I have lost myself in this confusion.
I would admit that I am in a depression of some sorts (i know because I have been there before), but then I believe that it’s nothing I cannot handle myself and I need to learn to deal with my emotions.
The first thing I am realising is that I need time by myself and distant from my friends for a while; too many of them in this situation would drink or party away and they would encourage me to do so. It is a very easy route to take in making people feel better in the short-run; but in the end it is obvious that problems cluster, one does not recognize their own flaws in numbing away and in the end not only do they become rigid, they also lack the ability to handle themselves properly. So as a practice I forced myself to stay home to do some thinking on my own.Â
Secondly, I had ALOT going on, my head is filled with: what ifs, what should I do with myself, the flaws and mistakes i’ve committed. They’ll pop up right before I sleep and every morning when I wake up. So in these floods of thoughts going through my mind, I started writing them down and I found that in doing so, I have left those anxieties at a place in a clear, organised manner and that actually helped me grasp my reality a lot better, not having to revisit anything that is already on record so to say.
I need time, but it’s probably time that I don’t have. Thinking about this as a teacher, graphic designer or even a student though, in official’s eyes my own flux in emotions is nothing of an excuse unless it’s so severe I could get a doctor’s note or something right? Still, I noticed my over sensitivity needs to be controlled if I am to become successful and a full mature adult, during this time I found out that emotionally I have certain skills that are lacking, I found myself very immature in these aspects.
I cannot conclude this blog by saying : I am feeling a lot better now. No, I cannot explain everything here or would those things matter, but for the mean time and carrying on with this course, I would need to learn to deal with it and keep my head strong.
ANDY WAS HERE
ANDY was here 🤓 